Meet the new President!

Absofragginlutely! You heard me right! I’m gonna run for President. Of the US of A! My favorite Country in the World! I mean, there are countries in the World I like a lot, maybe even more, but the US of A still the most! As some may know, I grew up in Germany and went to school there, but really it was the USA because my dad was a Soldier, and my mom was accepted as an American citizen in 1988, but now they’re German, but I’m still and always will be an American! Also some of my classmates tried to beat me up for being an American, so that’s gotta count for something, especially because I beat the crap out of them with the entire School as an audience, after which I was elected King of the school, even though Kings aren’t really elected, and maybe it was only my class, but who cares about what the press says today anyway? They all have their own agenda, and if they’re telling the truth at all, it’s only the part that they like. Anyway, I was never for reerecting the wall that separated East from West Germany, though a Wall would have been nice, since all of those lazy communists took all of our jobs away with their hard work. Which I totally respect, if it weren’t for the fact that they were just running from their relatively underpaid jobs at home. It’s almost the same as with those economic refugees from south of Texas and Arizona, where the incumbant president wants to build his wall. Seriously, how is he going to make the Mexicans pay for that? They’ll just default, and then the Chinese are going to have to pay for it, becaus e they got their fingers in everything nowadays. But hey, so long as we don’t pay for it, I’m all for it! It’s high time we made our entitled children mow the lawn and clean the streets for us buying them cars when they turn 16! It’s what they used to do 20 years ago, and we gave them less money than the other people who do it now. All those people complaining about how they don’t have any money, it’s no wonder when they all have two iPods per person and whatnotmore? I mean, I have three computers and spent 400€ each year on a new cell phone, but hey, nobody’s perfect!?!

So, who would I be running against? I have no idea, and it doesn’t really matter. It certainly won’t be the incumbant president, because I can’t run against him if I want to become the Republican candidate. I mean, whatever the Democratic standards may be, there just doesn’t seem to be any bar to pass to become the Republican candidate nowadays. You don’t even have to be a real Republican!


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