Sucks ass when you don’t have anyone to spend it with.
It’s been my 29th Valentine’s day without a significant other to spend it with. Well, I am spending it. At work. Night Shift.
It’s not like I never have any potential significant others. I’d had a little luck with the ladies recently, but it never lasts until valentines day. My last potential significant other (PSO) lasted for 5 months and 3 weeks. Yeah, a week before our semi-anniversary, we split. I don’t care to recall the specifics of our fight. It was ugly, messy, emotional. Basically, our visions of the future diverged, and we couldn’t find a compromise. Fairly standard. She was pretty distraught, as it was her first botched relationship. I’ve had my fair share of breakups, so I was prepared for what followed. Phase one I described in my post “Code Frenzy”. They say, what’s bad for your heart is good for your art, and I concur. Obviously. I still don’t want to break up too often. I would rather have a steady muse, a woman who understands what I want to do, and supports me instead of sabotaging my attempts at being a writer. Someone who can not only inspire me to do great things, but also criticizes my work. Someone who can help me determine what to keep, and what to cut. Someone who knows when I need her close, and when I need my isolation.
In case a potential muse is reading this, I live near Nuremberg in Germany. You could either uproot your life and move to me, or I could move my base of operations to wherever you are. It’s not difficult finding security jobs, so me moving would probably be more sensible, also I’m an adventurous type. If you turned out to not be the muse I am looking for, I’d move on. How far would I move? Anywhere around Germany, also Austria and Switzerland, Great Britain, Ireland, really anywhere people speak English or German. My Russian isn’t good enough to work there, so you would have to be quite rich to support me. I guess I could learn Swedish or Norwegian, or Danish, or French, but it would still take a while before I could contribute to a household financially.
Does this sound desperate? That’s for you to decide. Well, it certainly is wishful thinking. But if you don’t express your wishes, or work for them, how are they supposed to become reality? Wish upon a star? It sounds romantic – also stupid. Not saying that romantic equals stupid. It’s just not logical. Which often coincides with stupid. I am rambling.
So, I’ll just hope that my 30th Valentines Day won’t suck ass.