Theres this brand of chocolate that I simply can’t resist. It’s difficult for me to resist chocolate, just as most food in general. But this specific brand and make of chocolate evokes very special memories of my childhood and early youth. Sadly, this make of chocolate was discontinued for over a decade, but recently I discovered some of it at my local supermarket.

This chocolate was my Opi’s favorite chocolate. He always had some of it on him, until I came along. He was a frugal man, considering his wealth. He owned only one car at any time, one house. They were really nice cars and houses, but who really needs more than one? He also had only one bar of chocolate on him at any time – unless we were hiking in the Alps.

I don’t recall exactly what year we began hiking in the Alps, or when we did it for the last time. I know I always wanted to be somewhere else. Well, almost always. There was a year when I positively enjoyed it. But looking back, all that we endured on these trips brought us closer together as a family, and it was definitely good for our health. If I had some friends who are into this kind of thing, I would definitely go back to the Austrian Alps for a week of hiking.

Why don’t we go hiking in the Alps with our Opi anymore?

For starters, I can’t be entirely certain he’s still alive. If he is, then this year in April is his 92nd birthday. If I called him right now, I estimate a chance of 98% that he will be alive. That sounds like a very good chance. But it means he will live to see his 92nd birthday with a probability of just above 60%. Where am I taking these numbers? I would just like to refer to the disclaimer on my ‘about’ page: I really just pretend to know stuff and take little to no responsibility for inaccuracies on my blog. I digress.

Secondly, our Omi, who is marginally younger than Opi, is in bad shape. In her lucid moments, she calls for release. Opi couldn’t leave her alone for a day, let alone an emtire week – and taking her with us would be ludicrous. This has been the case for a few years now. Even without Euthanasia her chance of living until Opi’s birthday is somewhere at 40%.

Another reason why we don’t go hiking is me. I haven’t exactly been easy to reach for a very long time. And with my leg, I didn’t feel much like it. There was always somewhere else for me to be, too. I’ve always wanted to be someplace else. It’s my thing.

But this chocolate reminds me of the good times we had. It always helped me go on, fight through the pain and hardships. The flavour of hazelnut and raisins drenched in rum will always remind me of my Opi

Update Feb 1st 2015: Opi is in the hospital after having suffered a mild stroke, but he’s conscious and o.k., save a minor speech impediment

5 thoughts on “Memories

  1. ‘Liking’ this post is not an appropriate action. You leave so many questions unanswered. Why don’t you call him, why don’t you want to know if he is alive, what happened between you two? What about your parents? Don’t they keep in touch? Maybe you’ve written about this elsewhere?

    1. For your first question: I don’t call him because… well, I don’t have him on speed dial. I forget to call people when there’s nothing specific to talk about. Also, he usually bombards me with all kinds of unsolicited advice. I know he means well, but I have proved very resistant to pretty much all advice from anyone so far. As to what happened between us: He is the person I inherited my serious coagulopathy from. It didn’t manifest in my mother because she has a copy on her other X-Chromosome with a normal function, but I only have one X-Chromosome, and it has the hyperactive version. I know it’s not his fault that I got it, but since he is a highly educated and formerly successfull chemical engineer, he could have prepared for the possibility of one of his grandchildren to develop the same condition. I also realize that he couldn’t have had an easy time living with the condition, and talking about his own faults and weaknesses is not his forté, but a bit more than “oops, my bad” when we found out would have been appropriate. Of course, if he died, my parents would tell me instantly, but that would be at least 12 hours after it happened, so like we know that some Quasar was around 12 billion years ago to send some of its light our way, I am certain that my grandfather was alive at least until 12 hours ago.

      Of course, I still love the old warthog. Don,t let him know I called him that 😉

  2. I do hope you connect with him again, not only for his sake but for yours. It It truly surprised me how much love he had to give if I was just willing to receive it… and it means the world to them.

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