Now that you’ve got some blogging experience under your belt, re-write your very first post.

I really don’t need to rewrite my very first post. It is not perfect, mind me, but it can’t be rewritten. It is the way it is supposed to be. As my very first post ever, it reflects how and why I started this blog. I might make a few comments myself on the post, though. Let me go through sentence by sentence. No need to fear this might get boring; my initial post isn’t long, and if it does get boring, I’ll insert a clown somewhere.

“Very well. I registered with WordPress, because a friend of mine needed an editor.”

Yeah, I did a lot of editing on my friend’s blog. I lost track of how many posts he wrote. 3? 4? I don’t know. He gave up pretty quickly, mostly due to a lack of traffic on his site. He was just never interested enough in other people’s writing to go and look, like and comment, so nobody could reciprocate.

“His English is actually really good, but not being a native speaker, he sometimes uses awkward expressions.”

True. His English is definitely better than my Russian, French or Italian. If you were wondering, yes, I understand and speak those languages at a level sufficient to buy beer, sausages, charcoal and lighter fluid, so I’m always set up for some fun.

“No matter, that’s what friends are for.”

I wish he needed me for more. He refuses to take me along as wingman. I don’t look much better than him, and I am not an embarrassment. Oh, wait. Is that why the chicks dig me instead of him?

“So then I’m sitting there, inspecting WordPress, what I can do with it, what other people do with it.”

Yeah, hours of looking for cool stuff on WordPress. I did mention that I stuck with it. You need to look a little, though. But you’ve been through this, too, my dear readers. Sometimes, I wonder: why am I not freshly pressed? Is it because I haven’t bought my own domain name?

“It’s not like it’s my first contact with WordPress. It’s not even my first attempt at setting up my own blog (the first time I tried I was totally intoxicated with ethane alcohol, at least 0.2%, and I haven’t looked at the site since).”

Yeah, I needed to contract this to one sentence. Of course, grammatically, these are two sentences, some might argue three, because the words between the brackets have all the.. oh who cares? Do you want to complain that you have to read less for more laugh? Anyway, my first contact with WordPress was during my internship at a non-government cultural exchange organisation in Berlin, the ICD – Institute for Cultural Diplomacy, where I wrote some articles for the News Team during the Arab Spring. No, I wasn’t drunk when I wrote those. We all got drunk after we got out around 17:00. I felt really good then, like I belonged. Maybe that’s why WordPressing developed into a psychotherapy method for me. I did unload some really personal shit here. But my first fling with blogging was not on WordPress, but somewhere I can’t exactly remember… BlackBaud something I guess… I did mention that my BAC at the time was 0.2%? I do remember that my first post there was about a movey, Downstream I guess. Weird shit, that. Kind of like “A Boy and his Dog” meets “Mad Max”.

“But I do hope it is successful”

Depends on your definition of success. I don’t regard it a total failure, but it didn’t make me rich or famous.

“And you, dear reader, can give me that feeling of success, by reading, liking, and perhaps even commenting on my posts.”

There were times when my Blog grew rapidly. I guess I went from 0 followers to over a hundred in less than a month, but at some point, the development stagnated. Also, in the beginning, I could hardly keep it at a post per day; more like three or four. I had so much to tell the world. I felt like it was a success. Then, my focus shifted. I got a job. I wanted a girlfriend, and at some point, I got one. I lost touch with the writing me. I tried it a few times, but my mind was always scrambled. Not in the amusingly confusing way it had been in the beginning, only in the confusing way. Back when I had no job, I was always reading. I was constantly looking for something interesting to occupy myself with, and it spawned so many great posts. Now I’m just someone who pays his bills and blogs once in a while. Yeah, I can whine on, and on, and on. If you were wondering, I still have my job. I hit a creative phase after I broke up with my last girlfriend, as indicated in my Code Frenzy post. It really is a better displacement strategy than bingeing.

“FAMILY MEMBERS AND RELATIVES: I would really appreciate it if you were among the first to encourage me. Maybe it’s not enough to keep me going, but I do feel that your support in the matter is vital to this project of mine”

Yes, another contraction. But I’d rather get this over with. It is a very sad aspect of blogging, or writing in general. My dad reads my blog once in a while. He is the only relative of mine who has ever commented on my blog. And it’s hard for him. There are just so many things that I write about that he doesn’t understand. He’s quite intelligent, so that’s not the problem, but more often than not he doesn’t know how to respond, because, I surmise, it hurts him to read it. He’s just too close. Most other relatives don’t read it at all, even though we are FaceBook friends and everything is automatically publicized to my timeline. Everybody “likes” the s*** on Facebook, where they don’t need to think, or read long passages. In that respect, the past two-and-a-half years have been disillusioning. There is so much on my blog about me, and my best friends and family don’t know me because they don’t know it. It’s no wonder I have trust issues.

So, did you find the clown? Admit it, you weren’t looking for one 😉


7 thoughts on “Hindsight

  1. Having spoken to numerous bloggers off the blog you are certainly not alone in having family and friends who know less about you than your followers. I think this is what makes the blogging community so interesting. There are these complete strangers who are not really strangers at all. They know our thoughts and thought processes better than our closest friends and family. That’s not sad, it’s exciting.

    1. It’s an exciting world out there, with many exciting people, so you’re right, it is exciting that so many exciting people like yourself read what I have to write. I just wish my family and friends could appreciate it

  2. Although I subscribe to your fb page, still the wp things that show up there do not automatically show up on my start page, like all the other junk that other people share. If this is the case with your other relatives who are in fb, then maybe they just don’t know you are blogging.

      1. Precisely so, people are too lazy to write a comment such that they will press “like” even if the article is accompanied by a grisly picture of a woman who was decapitated woman after being raped.

        It is quite shocking.

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