Recently, I was talking to a colleague of mine, and we were joking about mental illness, specifically multiple personality disorder. So, I half-jokingly said that the personality she knows is the one that has been dominant for the past 9 months. She’s known me for 8 months now. I made it with the face that I usually have when I tell a half-joke. It is very easily mistaken for my serious face. Pretty much everybody knows that I have a difficult history, and at least a complex personality, and the way she looked at me suggested I might actually have goat’s horns, cat’s eyes, a snake’s tongue and a forked tail.
And, well, I call it a half joke, because somehow, it is true. It’s not like I have multiple personalities at the same time, but over the years, I have displayed a great variety of behavioral patterns. Actually, everybody does, mostly during puberty, and personality development is a very well known fact. Usually, though, most people don’t go through all too dramatic personality changes once they’ve matured. Usually, humans know who they are when they’re grown up.
I am saying usually, because I have changed. Not just on the outside, though, for once, my outside appearance reflects on my new-found discipline somewhat. That is something I had never had: Discipline. It really did start with getting a job, that requires me to work up to 248h a month and look shiny at the same time. That means I can’t miss showering, I need to iron my shirts, shave, and it really helps that I’ve started working out again. I could (should?) go to the barber to have my hair cut. But it’s not only that. When I was Обломов, I never gave much thought about my future. I had ideas, but no idea of how to achieve what they stood for. I would spend my money on booze and junk food, and hope that I would get someting somewhere that I might continue that life style, but I did next to nothing to actually earn that money. Sure, I did some translations for friends, some proof-reading, helped clean up around friends’ houses, but nothing substantial. My income was less than an unemployed person got for doing nothing at all.
But Обломов is no longer in control. Sure, it’s a little loonger than 9 months that I have been using NicoLite Великий as my screen name on WordPress, but maybe I should dubb my currently dominating personality Nicolai Veliki, a name of my own choosing – since my father referred to me as Обломов several times