been a while

Don’t worry, I’m still here. It’s been a busy week at work, and I was simply too tired to write when I got home every day after 12 hour shifts that start at 06:30. Being a security guard at a big factory isn’t all about sitting on your ass and pressing a button to open the gates once in a while. It does involve sitting on your ass for hours, but with up to 600 trucks from all over Europe that we need to register and direct to the proper loading bays, it is everything but boring. And trucks aren’t our only concern, but elaborating on my daily routine is not that I came here to do.

Because I did have second thoughts about whether to come back. With my most recent post about cyber relationships, I broke something. I broke something special and wonderful, a budding friendship between two people from nearly opposite ends of the earth. Now, when I read her posts, or look at her picture on Skype, I get this awkward feeling, the one where I feel like I should say something, but everything that springs to mind feels wrong. You may have noticed that I am rarely concerned with what other people think about what I say, so I don’t often get that awkward feeling, and people who know me know not to read much into what I say; either they take it, or they leave it.

There was context involved, which I am not going to go into; suffice it to say, there was no way for this person not to read anything into it, to just take it or leave it. There is no way to reset this, start over, make it right, and I am not the only one stuck with the consequences. I didn’t only destroy it for myself, but also for her. I hope this awkward feeling will go away soon, that we can just talk again. Even if it doesn’t work out, don’t worry, I will never stop blogging.

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