make my week

You wake up tomorrow morning to find all your plans have been cancelled for the next seven days and $10,000 on your dresser. Tell us about your week.

No, I am not suffering from multiple personality disorder. “Why would he write something like that”, you might be inclined to ask. In a way, what I am about to write now may or may not lead you to think that I do suffer from MPD. On occasion, I joke about having MPD. Be assured, if that disorder exists (I think it does), it is not a joking matter. Nobody is perfect. I digress.

What I do with the $10k depends pretty much on what person is in charge when I wake up. All of those persons are Me, and there are a lot of Me’s. One of the Me’s would start looking for a note and a weapon, because that money could only be hit money. I have never done anything like that irl, the biggest animal I have ever killed myself was a hedgehog, purely by accident when I ran over it on the road. But, in every human, there is a killer, just waiting to take control.

The exact opposite of that killer inside me is the philanthropist. This person would use the money to organize a fundraiser and start a charity to provide ex-cons or children in Africa with a chance to break the circle of violence and dependency. That would certainly be more rewarding than killing someone and risking hard time.

My old self would go on a binge. Every. Kind. Of. Binge. You. Can. Imagine. And. Many. More. I wouldn’t have to kill myself to make that my last experience in this life, I simply wouldn’t survive it. Live every day as if it were your last, and the third day will be it, a friend of mine used to say. Seven days? I’d get recorded in the Guiness Book of World Records for the amount of alcohol that passed through my system.

The person in control while I write this article would pay off his debts and get some furniture for the new apartment and save whatever is left for a rainy day, and use the 7 days off to relax.

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