Real Fiction

If you could be any fictional character in the world, who would you choose to be? Why?

I am sitting right there on the wagon with all the other wannabe comic book fans; I haven’t actually read the comics, or only very few, but I love the movies. Well, except for a few of them, but I don’t want to go into that kind of detail. Also, I am not basing my favorite fictional character on the kind of comic book or movie he appears in, and how much I like it or not, but on the portrayal of the fictional character himself. Yes, I mean a man. As much as I like women, I don’t want to be one. Not that there’s anything wrong with being a woman, but being a man is a fundamental part of my identity, and one of the few I don’t have a problem with. Do I have a problem with many aspects of my identity? I guess I do. Why am I not saying “I digress” at this point? Because my personality and identity issues are very much pertinent to the choice of fictional character I make.

First of all, let me begin with who I don’t want to be. I don’t want to be Superman. He may be invincible, but he isn’t invulnerable. Most obvious: Kryptonite. It comes in different colors, too, which means there is a relative abundance of it – somehow, those super villains always seem to have some of it stashed away in case Superman comes to visit. Also: Lois Lane. Even though Superman does a really good job of hiding his true identity, he’s not so good at hiding the identity of his loved ones. I mean, is there anyone else who he protects from petty criminals? Is there a better way to flag your beloved, as a superhero, than with the severed limbs of anyone who gets too close?

So, who would I rather be than Superman? Would I want to be a hero at all? I guess so, it is another part of my personality that I am not at odds with. I wouldn’t, however, want to have to be a vigilante. My heroic work would have to be somewhat below the government radar, but not in direct conflict with the authorities. That would of course require the authorities to be part of a government that is not outright evil, and that there are not too many dirty elements within those authorities. Bat Man, for instance, is kind of sanctioned by the authorities, but I wouldn’t want to have his daddy issues.

I think it best to create a fictional character of my own, since there will always be something in other characters that I really have an issue with. This character would live sometime in the future, in a somewhat dystopian world. His powers would come from serious cybernetic implants, making him just as much machine as human, which include, but are not limited to superhuman strength and durability and superior cyber-tracking skills. His sanctioning from the authorities would be a good old bounty hunter license, he would be the extended arm of justice, able to legally use the resources of the police to track down criminals without the restriction of needing a court order or a warrant. Since he gets his money from tracking down bail hoppers, he would also be interested in delivering delinquents in one piece, but his connections to the underworld would also provide him with contacts to fences, if he accidentally killed his quarry and/or looted their home for valuables; a criminal’s possessions are fair game, as long as you’re not a cop ;). Of course, he would also be available for hire in repossession cases; in my legal course for security guards I learned that under specific circumstances, you are allowed to steal back your property and damage foreign property in the process, and we’re talking about German law here; how much easier it must be to justify repossession in other countries! Also, he would be driving a 2012 Shelby GT500 convertible, a priceless and utterly cool vintage car in the future…

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12 thoughts on “Real Fiction

  1. Your character sounds close to Adam Jensen from Deus Ex: Human Revolution. Check out his details and tell me what you think =)

    Random lines your future vintage Shelby GT500 Convertible stirred in my memory. From ‘Blade Runner’ game on PC from way back when:

    “I’ve got some chrome here.”
    “From a car?”
    “Nope. I think it’s horse chrome!”

      1. oh man, i didn’t even mean to write that … i was intending on referencing what you wrote … maybe i’ve been spending a little too much time playing

      1. Hmmm, I mean more like the main cast of “Inglorious basterds”. Basically, main character who is ok with killing, maybe is a bastard in a general way, but still kinda fit’s into “hero” slot, usually by going against even bigger bastards and villains.

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