This is in response to yesterday’s daily prompt, somehow I don’t get updated on those until the day after they are posted.
The best advice I have ever given comes to many people as kind of an insult: Get a life! Needless to explain, someone who this is directed at is told to direct his attention to what is going on in his own world and not pester other people. I don’t give that advice often, mainly because I surround myself with people I hold dear and whose opinion I value, but there are those occurrences where people who think they have something to tell me about myself, where they have absolutely no business sticking their noses into, get the third in form of those hurtful words. I have also given that advice to my brother on occasion, and then it was not meant as a deterrent or an insult, but as the last thing you hear on the phone when you’ve disappointed someone.
Thing is, if I hadn’t hung up the phone just after that, I might have heard the stinging “backatcha”. Sure, I was beginning to get some of my shit together, I had an internship in Berlin and I was being all serious, and it wasn’t a farce or a bubble, but after the internship, it faded again. I was back in Limbo. No job, a little money from my parents. I tried a job as a telemarketer, and I didn’t even stink at it, but I felt my soul being ground up and fed to the corporations bit by bit for lying to prospective customers and talking them into changing their telephone service provider. You might ask “how is being a security guard any different from telemarketing in respect to selling your soul”. Well, how is anything you do for a corporation? I need the money. That’s just it. As a security guard, I just get to stand or sit around all the time, watching the world go by from inside my own world, as though I were watching reality TV, kind of like Sam Lowry in Brazil. That’s how I retain my (in-)sanity, my soul. I don’t have to feel bad about being a deterrent for thieves and vandals. They probably wouldn’t even come if nobody was there, and if there’s money to be handed out, why not take it legally?
Anyway, taking corporate handouts as a security guard is only the first of many steps to getting a life for me, and it’s the first time in my life that I’m actually making real progress in that area.