This is pretty much a writer’s urge surge again. It’s 3 AM, I can’t sleep. I got to think about something, and that was potential. I’m talking about human potential. About how we could be so much more, so much better. Of course, I am a dreamer. I live in potentials. That’s one of the reasons why I write. It also means that I don’t live up to my potentials. Well, then again, who does?
I was told very often that I was special, that I had so much potential, that I could be doing so awesomely amazing stuff. I am doing something amazing. I am alive. And I don’t even mean this in a metaphorical, metaphysical and spiritual sense. There are lots of physical miracles involved in me being alive. I lack the words to say anything else than I want to give some of that miraculous energy back to the Universe. Now, if anyone has read a little bit from my blog, they will know that I am not agnostic, but a straight-forward atheist. So, I am not conceding to the possibility of there being a higher consciousness directing the universe. This also doesn’t mean I ridicule people who do believe in a higher power, just for the record. Ahm, damn all this rambling, where is the red thread?
Ah yes, giving some of the miraculous energy back to the Universe. I think, the best medium for me to do exactly that is the internet, and writing. Making people happy. Is there a higher calling in life? Possibly. But not for me. I like to see people laugh. I hate to hurt people’s feelings. Well, I guess that’s not that uncommon. I also guess it’s sometimes unavoidable. And I fear it is sometimes for the better. Someone might be thinking now: “Who is he to judge that?”, well, I am me. I am, however, not the one to judge if someone needs to hear the truth. If I have the truth, and not bound by promise not to reveal it, well, then I should reveal it to those whose business it is. Rambling, again.
Yes, many people talk about what could be, and what should be, and falsely compare it to what is. That can be very depressing. Pretty much like how I rambled about telling the truth before. I try, but, rather depressingly, I not only hold back, I make excuses for deception. And saying “No more!” would be deceiving myself. Still doesn’t mean I’m going to stop trying to make it better. I know it can be better. Transferring this to other potentials, it means we can all try to make better what we think is within our capacities, instead of talking about what could and should be done better. Well, of course, some amount of talking about it will be necessary, always. Verbalizing our dreams and desires is one of the keys to making them happen. But would’a, could’a and should’a, nice realizations, but they symbolize the one thing I hate most: regrets.